Why I'm scared to loose weight

I love being the bigger girl. Ya you heard me right. Yes I want to loose some weight so I can run faster and enjoy sports again like I used to but I also love me. Who I am now is beautiful. I love me and losing weight means I loose that part of me. Somewhere down deep I know that I would feel better if I lost the extra weight I'm carrying. But slowly I hope I can find some peace through this journey cause it won't be easy!